Jon Stewart on the Black Nazarene

Last night, Jon Stewart compared the media chase for Paris Hilton's police car to the chaotic Black Nazarene feast in Quiapo, Manila. Not in a bad way really, but the Daily Show host (who is Jewish) mistakenly thought the centuries-old icon that came from Mexico was an image of the Virgin Mary. Stewart was wondering why journalists were in such a frenzy and recalled that the last time he saw a chase like that was in the Philippines, where people go in a mad scramble to get to the Nazarene. And then he said that either US culture was crippled irreparably or Paris Hilton was a "virgin to be worshipped." At least, the Philippines has risen above Imelda's shoes.

Monopoly, Philippine Edition

Bought this at Toys 'R Us for a little over P700. As you can see, Quezon Avenue (?!?) takes the place of Boardwalk as the most expensive property on the board. Amusing. Airports take the place of railroads (imagine you can mortgage Manila Domestic Airport for P10,000). Street names taken from Manila, Laoag, Dagupan, Cebu, and Davao. Watch out for a longer article on this.

Tapos ang Buhayin ang Maynila (Atienza reign ends... temporarily)

One of the spectacular stories of this election is the defeat of Manila Mayor Lito Atienza's surrogate, his own son Ali, in the mayoralty race, to no less than Senator Alfredo Lim, the city's Dirty Harry. With Lito completing three full terms and ineligible for reelection, he passed on his Hawaiian shirt to Ali, a taekwondo jin whose only experience in politics is being head of the city's sports program.

Lito must have thought Manilans would mistake Ali (who looks like his younger version) for him if Ali wore the same Hawaiian shirts. Obviously, Ali will just be a seat warmer (like other three-term mayors' wives and children) until Lito becomes eligible for election in three years.

Several 'Ituloy ang Buhayin ang Maynila' billboards and motorcades with Manny Pacquaio later, Ali tasted defeat in his first political foray.

If Lito Atienza only applied the same rule he imposed on son Kim, who has chosen to leave politics and concentrate on being a TV weatherman instead. In various Lito Atienza TV biographies, he is depicted as admonishing Kim to start his political career at the lowest level and work his way up. And so Kim served at the barangay, and then became councilor. In 2004, he tried his luck and ran for congressman but lost bitterly.

In 2007, Lito Atienza seemed to have forgotten this 'work your way up' principle when he realized no one from his family will inherit the mayor's post. So, in a bid to preserve his dynasty (rather than see rival and veteran Vice Mayor Danny Lacuna get the post on a silver platter), Ali was foisted to the political scene. Manilans must have felt insulted and voted for Dirty Harry's return.

Atienza should have known better. He himself had struggled to become mayor of Manila after several unsuccessful attempts since 1987. He tasted defeat from Mel Lopez and had to team up with Lim to become vice-mayor. When Lim decided to run for higher office, that's when he finally had a crack on the top post in the Philippine capital. For sure, he knows it's not that easy.

Bad year for showbiz

... in politics. Except for Vilma Santos, who is all set to replace Armand Sanchez as Batangas governor, 2007 was bad for aspiring public servants from showbiz. The Vilma Santos-Christopher de Leon love team reunion has been thwarted with Christopher taking a beating in the vice-governor race (what was he thinking?)

Apparently, showbiz stars continue to bet on politics with popularity and name recall as their currency when numerous times in the past, hugely popular stars have been beaten in local races. Running in a local election where it's easier to campaign (unlike in a national election) and there are fewer voters (in the context of a local vs. national position) plus popularity doesn't necessarily translate to victory. Action star Rudy Fernandez attempted to become mayor of Quezon City in 2001 and lost badly.

Here is the roster of showbiz people who thought voters were stupid enough to vote them into office based on sheer popularity. Some were stupid enough to have been convinced by President Gloria Arroyo or her minions that they had a chance (or was it the other way around?):

Christopher de Leon for Batangas vice-governor - Batangas people seem to have remembered him as Don Fidel, the villain of the Maging Sino Ka Man soap. Don Fidel owned a bank that got bankrupt. He became a paraplegic after one of his ex-goons forced him to fall down the concrete steps of a building. Who would vote for a loser?

Cesar Montano for senator - hastily put together a platform that essentially said people should take vocational courses in this country where everybody must get to college (was this to negate his lack of academic credentials?). Highlighted the fact that he is a Unesco commissioner. Which backfired because people didn't know what the heck is Unesco.

Richard Gomez for senator - lost credibility when he tried to get into both Team Unity and GO but got rejected twice. Check out campaign ad in newspapers. He spells "amend" as "ammend."

Victor Wood (for senator?!?) - Would you vote for Madam Auring's ex?

Tito Sotto for senator - money from his "dabarkads" not enough to push him up comfortably within the magic 12. Even TV ads in Wowowee noontime show which has overtaken his own show Eat Bulaga didn't work.

Lito Lapid for Makati mayor - Leon Guerrero no match for Rambotito even with free fish given away at rallies. Remember Edu Manzano got defeated in the same race three or four elections ago. Sorry, try again...

Manny Pacquiao for representative of General Santos - promised to shower tuna capital with funds and projects from the national government (or Gloria's graces). Ended up without a political party because of mistake in joining Liberal Party-Atienza wing whose rump session to take over the party was declared illegal by the Supreme Court. He also ended up complaining that election returns did not have watermarks (really? Define watermark.)

DISCLAIMER: This list is partial and unofficial because results in other races have yet to come in, like that of Marco Sison for Laguna vice-governor, Dan Fernandez for Laguna congressman, Cita Astals, Isko Moreno, and Robert Ortega for Manila vice-mayor, and Anjo Yllana for Parañaque vice-mayor. Oh, and I forgot Aiko Melendez(-Jickaine) for councilor of Quezon City.

Coming soon: Mahal and Mura for mayor and vice-mayor of Kalayaan group of islands...

Paid campaign workers find 'fake' returns

Out of sheer ignorance, political partisans in places such as Pasig, Manila, and Taguig have been blocking vehicles and accosting people bringing heaps of election returns...

What they don't know is that there are six or seven copies of these precinct returns and the major and minor parties are entitled to one copy each so they can count the votes on their own. Paranoia over fraud has made everyone with a thick brown envelope a suspect...

These same "volunteers" will later flock to campaign headquarters for food and cash only to find out that the money for their pay is missing. Suddenly, anger shifts to their candidate. Elections are really messy.

Namfrel quick count quicker?

After software woes, the National Movement for Free Elections said Wednesday its quick count for 2007 is turning out to be faster than in 2004.

But of course. In 2004, Namfrel volunteers sent election results per precinct through text. They thought they found the ultimate technology for quick counting, only to find their servers bogging down due to an avalanche of text messages. Namfrel wanted to make sure the votes sent through text were accurate, and so two people had to text in the results separately and there must be a match before the results are accepted. Namfrel's list of precincts also differed from Comelec's list.

Result? Counting was set back two or three days , and by day three, only 5% of precincts have been counted. Of course, this year's quick count will quicker, now that Namfrel's back to landline phone, fax, and email.

Trends in trending

As if on cue, spokesman for the administration’s senatorial ticket have begun whining about “trending” following quick counts by the two giant TV networks, GMA and ABS-CBN, where Genuine Opposition bets took early leads.

Funny, but in 2004, when President Arroyo was leading in the quick count for the presidential polls, it was Fernando Poe Jr. and pals complaining about trending, and the Gloria spokesmen were on the defensive.Here’s a sample of the exchange (Manila Standard, May 12, 2004)

FPJ CAMP: “We are leading in the counting, but this truth is not coming out in media reports,” Poe said. “I appeal to the media to be fair, and report only truth for the interest of the public.”

GLORIA CAMP: Malacañang in turn advised the opposition to closely watch the official tabulation and canvass of votes in the presidential and senatorial elections instead of prematurely complaining about trending or rigging of results.

FPJ CAMP: The corruption is total in that “a large sector of the mainstream media has all but become Ms. Arroyo’s political spinmaster and mouthpieces,” [Francisco Tatad] charged. He added that the “undisguised trending” of the early election returns “was to condition the mind of the public to accept an unearned Arroyo victory.”

GLORIA CAMP: Defensor asked Poe to desist from attacking the National Movement for Free Elections and other organizations involved in the quick count and accusing them of trending the outcome in favor of President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo.

Is crying “Trending!” for sore losers? (Did FPJ really lose?)